Attachment Difficulties in Schools: A Practical Guide for SEND Teachers and Teaching Assistants

Wed, 08 Jul 2026 15:00:00 +0100

Starting a new placement can feel exciting, but it can also bring uncertainty, especially if you're supporting pupils with additional needs for the first time.

Whether you're working as a SEND supply teacher, teaching assistant, learning support assistant or behaviour support professional, understanding attachment difficulties can help you build positive relationships, respond confidently to challenging situations and make a meaningful difference from your very first day.

At Axcis Education, we place SEND professionals into schools across England and South Wales every day. This practical guide explains what attachment difficulties are, how they may present in the classroom, and how you can provide supportive, consistent care while following each school's policies and procedures.

What are attachment difficulties?

Attachment describes the emotional bond a child develops with their primary caregivers during their earliest years.

When children experience consistent, responsive care, they are more likely to develop secure attachments that help them feel safe, build healthy relationships and regulate their emotions.

Some children, however, experience early adversity such as neglect, trauma, abuse, bereavement or disrupted caregiving. These experiences can affect how they trust adults, manage emotions and respond to everyday situations.

You may also hear the term attachment disorder. While attachment difficulties are relatively common, diagnosed attachment disorders such as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) are rare and can only be diagnosed by appropriately qualified healthcare professionals.

As a SEND education professional, your role isn't to diagnose children. Your role is to understand that behaviour often communicates an unmet need and to respond with patience, consistency and professionalism.

Why does this matter for SEND supply staff?

One of the biggest concerns new SEND supply staff have is:

"What if I say or do the wrong thing?"

The good news is that you don't need to be an attachment specialist to make a positive difference.

Children experiencing attachment difficulties often benefit from adults who are:

Calm
Consistent
Patient
Predictable
Reliable

Even if you're only in a classroom for one day, your approach can help a child feel safer and more settled.

What might you notice in the classroom?

Every child is different, but pupils experiencing attachment difficulties may:

Find it difficult to trust unfamiliar adults.
Become anxious during transitions.
Need additional reassurance.
Appear withdrawn or unusually quiet.
React strongly to changes in routine.
Challenge boundaries or classroom expectations.
Become upset more quickly than other pupils.
Struggle to regulate their emotions.
Find friendships difficult.
Prefer to work alone or avoid asking for help.

It's important to remember that these behaviours may also be linked to autism, ADHD, anxiety, trauma or other SEND needs.

Avoid making assumptions. Instead, focus on understanding the individual child and following the guidance provided by the school.

Practical tips for your first day in a new classroom

Every school works differently, but these simple approaches can help you settle into any SEND environment.

Introduce yourself calmly

Children experiencing attachment difficulties may take longer to build trust.

There's no need to force conversation. A friendly smile, calm voice and consistent approach often speak louder than lots of words.

Follow the SENDCo/SENCO or Class Teacher's lead

Every classroom has established routines.

Ask questions such as:

Is there anything I should know about the pupils I'll be supporting today?
Are there any strategies that work particularly well?
Is there anything I should avoid?

Experienced teachers know their pupils well, and their guidance is invaluable.

Be consistent

Children often feel safer when adults are predictable.

Try to:

Follow classroom routines.
Use the same expectations as other staff.
Avoid changing agreed strategies.
Give clear, simple instructions.

Consistency builds confidence.

Stay calm during challenging moments

Some behaviours may feel personal, but they rarely are.

If a pupil becomes upset or dysregulated:

Keep your voice calm.
Give the child time where appropriate.
Follow the school's behaviour policy.
Ask for support if needed.
Avoid arguing or escalating the situation.

Remember that you're there to support, not to win a confrontation.

Build trust gradually

Relationships take time.

Rather than trying to become a child's favourite adult immediately, focus on being:

Friendly
Reliable
Respectful
Consistent

Small positive interactions throughout the day often have the greatest impact.

Things to avoid

If you're new to SEND, it's natural to want to fix every situation quickly.

Instead, try to avoid:

Taking behaviour personally.
Raising your voice unnecessarily.
Making promises you can't keep.
Publicly challenging or embarrassing pupils.
Introducing new behaviour strategies without speaking to school staff.
Assuming you know a child's background.

Your role is to support the school's existing approach rather than creating a new one.

When should you ask for help?

You should never feel that you need to manage everything alone.

If you're unsure about a pupil or situation:

Speak with the class teacher.
Ask the SENCO or another member of staff for guidance.
Follow safeguarding procedures if you have concerns.
Report significant incidents according to school policy.

Asking questions shows professionalism; it doesn't show weakness.

Looking after yourself too

Working in SEND can be incredibly rewarding, but it can also be emotionally demanding.

Remember to:

Reflect on your experiences.
Ask colleagues for advice.
Continue developing your SEND knowledge.
Make use of training opportunities available through Axcis.
Celebrate the small wins - they matter.

No one expects you to know everything on your first placement.

Every classroom experience helps you grow in confidence.

Continue developing your SEND knowledge with The Axcis Academy

Supporting pupils with attachment difficulties is a skill that develops with experience and ongoing learning.

As an Axcis candidate, you can access The Axcis Academy, which offers accredited CPD courses in partnership with The National College, giving you free access to an extensive library of CPD designed specifically for education professionals.

Whether you're new to SEND or looking to build on your existing experience, you'll find training covering topics such as:

Safeguarding and child protection
SEND awareness
Autism
ADHD
SEMH
Behaviour support
Trauma-informed practice
Mental health and wellbeing
Classroom management
Professional development

With more than 1,400 webinars and 180+ online courses available, it's an excellent way to build your confidence, strengthen your knowledge and prepare for future SEND placements.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need specialist training to support pupils with attachment difficulties?

No. While additional SEND training is always valuable, being calm, patient, consistent and willing to learn can make a real difference.

What if I don't know a child's background?

That's completely normal.

Many schools won't share detailed personal information unless it's relevant to your role. Focus on following the guidance provided by the class teacher, SENDCo/SENCO and responding professionally.

Should I tell a child how to behave?

Always follow the school's behaviour policy and the guidance of permanent staff. Consistency is important, particularly if you're working in a supply role.

Can supply staff make a difference?

Absolutely.

Although some placements last just a day, every positive interaction matters. Children benefit from adults who are respectful, patient and dependable, regardless of how long they're in the classroom.

Ready for your next SEND opportunity?

Working in SEND is about far more than delivering lessons or providing classroom support. It's about helping children feel safe enough to learn, grow and achieve their potential.

Whether you're taking your first step into SEND education or looking for your next placement, Axcis Education is here to support you every step of the way.

We work with SEND teachers, teaching assistants and education support staff across England and South Wales, helping them find rewarding opportunities in mainstream schools, specialist settings and alternative provisions.

If you're already registered with Axcis, explore our latest SEND vacancies to find your next opportunity.

If you're new to Axcis, complete our Candidate Enquiry Form and one of our consultants will be in touch to discuss your experience, career goals and current opportunities in your area.

Whether you're looking for day-to-day supply, long-term placements or permanent roles, we're here to help you build a rewarding career supporting children and young people with SEND.

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